When Tom Petty died I listened to nothing but him on my phone for the following two / three weeks. Every time I was in the car or doing something that needed a soundtrack, Mr Thomas Earl Petty was there with me, keeping me company & ‘Keepin me Alive’. I must have played the song ‘Wildflowers’ hundreds of times. It is such a beautiful song. On the 17th July I was the funeral celebrant for a friend who sadly, left us behind. He was an amazing human being and will be forever missed but never forgotten. BANKSY once said “You die twice. Once when you actually die and then again when someone says your name for the last time.” It was ‘Without a Shadow of a Doubt’ one of the HARDEST things I have ever done. EVER. I think that I handled myself alright, though. I swear to god half of West Auckland was there. Maybe that’s why I was O.K. Though I did ‘Breakdown’ a few times, I think it was for the betterment of the whole service. It was such a sad day filled with the right amount of inappropriate jokes (hey, they had me do the thing, there were bound to be a few thrown in there)! A voice inside my head kept saying – Don’t fuck this up, Lee. They’re ‘Counting on You’ to do a good job. I didn’t fuck it up. After the ceremony I made my way outside to say my final goodbye to my friend and placed a flower on his casket. After all that I needed a hug. I saw my beautiful, loving, supportive wife coming my way and thought “thank Christ” ‘Here Comes My Girl’. Man you get good hugs at funerals. They are the kinds of hugs that you should be getting all the time from people in your life that care about you; genuine, firm and real. If you’re ever having a shit day, go and find a funeral home and just join in for the hugs. My friend was a legend in the racing community and had won so many races at Western Springs that no one could actually tell me just how many he had actually won. They’d lost count! He’s up there now, he’s been set loose ‘Into the Great Wide Open’ to tear shit up on the ‘Kings Highway’. A very dear friend of mine works with crystals, so I asked her if there was a crystal that I could wear or keep in my pocket that would help me deal with and get through the service without losing my shit constantly. She went out and sourced me a crystal called LAPIS LAZULI. It helps with
It was exactly what I needed and helped immensely with my delivery and tone on the day. To any sceptics out there – Don’t worry. I was one too. ‘You Don’t Know How it Feels’ until you give it a jam. I believe that it helped me on the day and that’s all that matters. People put their faith and trust into all sorts of things these days so why not a gem/crystal/stone. Thanks Renee. I really appreciate it! After the funeral I joined the half of West Auckland that made it to the service at The Hangar for a few jars and a few laughs. This is the same bar where I run my dad groups on Sundays and was in walking distance from the funeral home. So, I called them beforehand to let them know that around 4/4:30pm they were going to have an influx of bogans who have found themselves all dying of thirst because the number of tears they had shed had left them dehydrated and ready to smack some motherfucking piss! The manager was incredibly grateful and even called in a few extra staff members to man the bar. While we were out there smashing jugs of Export 33 (low carb) beer, I noticed a handful of yellow balloons floating in the sky overhead. These were the balloons that my friend’s family had released at the private cremation ceremony back at the funeral home. I raised my voice and said “hey, look. There go ol’ mate’s balloons” I raised my glass and said, “Rest easy, brother”. Then I witnessed one of the most beautiful things I had ever seen in my 31 years on this earth. The entire outside area of the bar fell deadly silent and every single pair of eyes were fixated on 10 -15 yellow balloons drifting aimlessly towards the heavens. This was made even more poignant as people raised their glasses and held them there until the balloons faded into the distance. What an incredibly special moment. A pub roaringly busy with around 300 tattooed up motherfuckers rocking mullets and smoking roll-your-own Port Royal durries, was brought to a standstill. Not even a whisper. Complete silence. People came out from inside to see what the ‘silence was about’ and as they realised the enormity of what was going on, and that it wasn’t just a bunch of grunty battlers looking up at ‘Something in the Air’, their glasses made their way skyward too, and an entire bar stood in silence and watched a handful of yellow balloons float across the sky. Balloons! This is not something you see every day in a West Auckland pub. Ask anyone that was there that afternoon and they will tell you that the most humbling presence and feeling of love washed over every single person in that place at that moment and for a few silent minutes it was like he was back with us. As they soared higher and higher into the sky I felt a tear form in the corner of my eye, and as it rolled slowly down my cheek it was met by the corner of my lips and a smile. A smile that I wasn’t even aware was there. As I wiped the tear from my smiling face, this thought entered my mind – I bet he was sitting up there waiting for those balloons to reach him and I’d like to think that at least one of those balloons (maybe one of the ones that his beautiful children had let go) made it all the way up to his glorious ‘Room at the Top”. Tuesday night at The Hangar is quiz night and I couldn’t help but feel that there were going to be a bunch of people that were none too impressed that their pleasant evening was going to be soured by the presence of us riff raff. I decided I would enter a team into the quiz and have a stab. We came second to last (mainly because I was a one-man team and I gave up at round 5 to go back outside and hang out with my friends). A good friend of mine came up to me and told me that I needed to shut up and calm down because I was being too loud, and they were going to kick us all out. I don’t know about that………I’m always loud. Granted I did have a few jugs in me by this point. He reckons I was real close to getting the ol’ ‘Refugee’ treatment. The whole HEY YOU – GET OUT and ‘Don’t Come Around Here No More’ from the bar staff. Ah well. I remember thinking that if they were going to come and try and boot me out. ME. THE KING OF RANUI then they were crazy. They can try but I’ll stand my ground and “I Won’t Back Down’. After all, it was me that called them and gave them the heads up about all of us turning up and I’m pretty sure we would have whacked close to $8K over their bar that night. I guess that’s just me, though. I’m always ‘The Wild One, Forever’. 10pm crept up on me like a cold sore and I was faced with the decision of making one of two choices.
Find my mum up there, Zahn. She’ll look after you. She’ll be the beautiful Dutch lass Rolling up a Park Drive and holding a glass of Stones Ginger Wine for you. Xoxoxo
3 Comments
Trace
7/19/2018 12:13:54 am
💛🎗 anothe awesome read Lee. My mum thinks you should write a book
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Glen lrving
7/19/2018 01:20:10 am
Well done Lee, and thanks for your time and words.
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Alicia Jennings
7/19/2018 02:50:47 am
You're a decent human Lee! And a pretty talented one at that. x
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AuthorLee Weir - Radio Announcer, Marriage Celebrant and Guinness World Record Holder. Archives
January 2024
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