I saw a guy at the gym today with a leg missing. He was massive, in a wheelchair and looked absolutely gutted. I contemplated going over to talk to him and asking him if his loss of limb was diabetes related. I thought – Fuck it, I’m gonna go over and give it a nudge and as I began my journey from the chest press to the hand-bike where he was waiting to jump on, he looked up at me. He smiled and nodded at me. It was in this moment that I realised that ‘of course it was diabetes related’. I always make excuses for myself and say that I can’t do some things due to having a clubbed foot and here’s ol’ mate smashing out some exercise from a wheelchair with one leg! I didn’t end up talking to him, I simply returned his smile and nodded back. It is amazing what can be said without words (thanks Ronan Keating). A few years ago I was in the passenger seat while Nikita (my wife) was driving and we were stopped at a set of traffic lights. On the footpath walking towards us was a dude with a massive ginger beard. He caught a glimpse of me and my beard and gave me ‘the nod’. I nodded back and then Nikita started cracking up. I looked over to her and asked
“Did you see that, oi”?! “Yes, I did! Oh my god that was awesome”!! It happens more often than not, and I think that it only happens in the bearded community. If you’re bearded up and you spot someone else with a beard do you flick them a cheeky little nod of appreciation? You bloody better. What I like to do when I’m out at social functions (parties/weddings/concerts etc) is scan the room for someone with a more impressive beard than me, go over to that person and congratulate them on having the ‘ALPHA BEARD’. If I can’t see anyone else with a bigger/better beard than mine, then I’ll assert my dominance and flaunt that glorious ginger beard that I’ve been sporting for the past 6 years, proudly! I can tell you right now the Alpha Beard of Alpha Beards belongs to my friend and colleague Mr. Duncan Heyde. You should see the beard on that dude! When I head into the Rock studios with him and Thane to do my weekly segment ‘Westie Lee’ I have to sit next to him and I’m not gonna lie, my beard feels sad. Sad that it will never be that glorious. If my beard was a person I’d slap him for not being better than he is. I’m really enjoying my time at the gym. I’m pushing myself harder and I am really enjoying it. I now ride for 15 minutes instead of 10 and I row for 1500 mtrs instead of 1000. I am not doing much by way of leg weights etc because I already have some hearty tekawarty legs going on so skipping leg day doesn’t really bother me that much. My body aches after these gym sessions but then I get to go and hoon the sauna for a little while. I try and stay in there for 20 minutes straight after my workout and get a decent sweat on but recently I have found myself only managing 10-15 mins. It’s really hot in there, man. I stay hydrated whilst in there and to tell you the truth – staying in there for 20 minutes is harder than my workout. Shit it’s difficult. It’s so damn hot (milk was a bad choice). Also, a lot of elderly Asian people in there and believe it or not – quite a few of them spit. Like camels. I told a lady off for it the other day. She looked at me with her ‘what the fuck are you on about’ eyes and continued to do it. Unbelievable. Today there was no hoiking going on but there was an awful lot of chatter (none of it in English). This is where some would put the whole “now I’m not racist, but” I’m not gonna do that. I’m not racist. I hate everyone equally. I don’t give a shit if people talk in their languages when there are other people are around. That’s fine. I do however take issue with the volume of their voices in such a confined and hot room. No one else is blabbing at the top of their voice. I think that there should be a ‘NO TALKING’ rule in saunas. Even if the conversations were in English they would have still been too loud for such a small hot room. After 14 minutes I headed out to go and swim a few laps in the cold pools. Great times. I finished up my laps with a nice easy back-float for a while. While looking at the ceiling I couldn’t help but think of that dude who was in the wheelchair with his leg off. I thought about how many people must look at him and know that the reason he lost his leg was because of diabetes and because he was simply too big. That could have easily been me had I not gone to the doctor and had myself checked out. I could have been the dude in the wheelchair with my leg amputated. I have spent time in a wheelchair before. For fun, not due to injury/illness. I went clubbing on a wheelchair a few years back. I got complete strangers to lift me off my chair, pull my pants down and place me on the toilet. It was hilarious. Maybe that’s a yarn for another blog. Until then. I have lost a further 1.6 kg’s making my total weight loss in the last 5 weeks 6.5 kilos. I’m feeling incredibly optimistic about my journey and have even had a few emails from people going through the same shit as me and who have told me that my blog has helped them through some hard times……So to Mike who writes “I used to drink a lot (not as much as you) and have stopped for the last 2 months. I feel a shit load better for not drinking but do miss the social side of it, especially having a beer with the boys after work. Recently went to the warriors here in Chch and I was with mates which were having a big session and I just drank water. I missed the laughs of getting pissed up with the boys and getting rowdy but at the end I woke up without a hangover and had a good day with my partner and daughter. “ I would like to say – GO YOU GOOD BUGGER! The ‘no drinking’ gets easier and how bloody awesome is NOT being hungover?!! All the best on whatever journeys you’re currently on. I’m really enjoying mine…… L
1 Comment
Mike
7/7/2018 04:20:36 am
Thanks for the mention mate, not being hungover is great haven’t achieved this much in a weekend for awhile.
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AuthorLee Weir - Radio Announcer, Marriage Celebrant and Guinness World Record Holder. Archives
January 2024
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